The Triangle of Joy (and other geometries of happiness)
Last Wednesday was one of those full-tilt days. The kind where you're dashing between playdate drop-offs, running errands with your elderly mum, juggling chores, and knowing that not much else is going to happen. But looking back, what fascinates me is what I did manage to prioritise in the tiny pockets of time that were mine.
Art: day two of the still life challenge at the Time Forager’s Club with
; blissful sketching and colour play.Exercise: a long walk on the treadmill watching Under the Tuscan Sun and dreaming ahead to our own Roman summer.
Writing: a few honest words in my journal to wrangle with a sticky thought I’ve been wrestling.
And there it was, clear as anything—my triangle of joy. The three things that, even on a wildly busy day, bring me peace and ground me.
And what I noticed was what didn’t make the list. Social media? Nowhere. Not even on the edge of the triangle, even though it can suck me in for what feels like days. TV? Not really (unless you count Diane Lane's sun-drenched adventure, but that felt more like travel-prep, well sort of). Even books and podcasts, both of which I adore, weren’t top of mind. Perhaps because skipping a day with them doesn’t leave me aching.
That said, I would feel heartbroken in a world without books, so maybe I need to expand the geometry. A parallelogram of joy? A trapezoid of delight? Either way, what’s interesting is how three of these ‘corners’ are active pursuits. Even reading invites us to engage, imagine scenes, predict plots, and emotionally invest. It nourishes us. And maybe that’s the key.
There’s a ground swell here on Substack and elsewhere. So many of us are feeling lighter and more creative when we step away from social media1. We’ve been collectively holding our breath, and letting go of the stale air choking us is so delicious.
I’ve accepted, finally, that I’m an addict. And I need to get clean.
Already the less I consume the constant scroll, the less foggy, distracted and fractured I feel. It’s like my brain is finally getting a chance to stretch.
(See also this post from
which describes this beautifully).We often frame taking a break from social media as a self-care strategy (which it is), but it’s wild to me that we’ve arrived at a point where stepping away from it feels radical. In just a few short years we’ve gone from choosing the joy in our offline lives to passively absorbing whatever the algorithm serves up.
It’s like walking into a restaurant where there’s no menu—or worse, one with just two options, and both are junk food. And yet we show up every day, devouring dopamine-laced bites with millions of others. No wonder we fantasise about off-grid cabins, slow-grown food, and a world without notifications. Somewhere inside, we know we’re starving for something real.
I’d love to go cold-turkey but, as an author, I also know that I need to promote my work. For now, at least, I can’t step away from it entirely.
So what am I doing about all this? Thinking. Reflecting. Feeling my way toward less consumption, more intention.
When I’m pondering something deeply, I often turn to my Light Seer tarot cards—not for answers (I don’t believe they predict) but for insight. So I asked, "How can I support myself to make better choices about how I spend my time?" And the card I pulled? The Fool.
Classic.
But actually, it was perfect. I used it as part of Chris-Anne’s ‘trust-fall’ spread:
Me: The Fool – ready to take the first steps of a new journey into consciousness, a transitional period of awakening.
Trust: Ten of Cups – deep joy, fulfilment, wholeness, heart opening.
Challenge: Queen of Cups – feeling insecure, FOMO, melodrama, an opportunity to be responsible for my own emotions.
Wisdom: Eight of Pentacles – mastering a skill, methodical progress, patience, persistence and determination.
A recipe for conscious uncoupling, as someone famous once said.
In terms of practical steps I’ve already deleted my X account, and I barely glance at LinkedIn or TikTok. I’ve started using an old tablet just for ebook and Substack reading with no social media sites installed. And I’ve set up screen-time goals for the apps on my phone. My total phone time has halved already and in the past week I’ve spent 20 mins or less a day in total on any social sites.
And that’s what I’m working on now. Practising presence and willpower. Protecting and prioritising my triangle of joy. Trying to let go of some of the noise so I can hear myself again. I’ll let you know how I get on.
Are you feeling the ground-swell against social media? If you had to draw your own joy-shape what would be in it?
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Yup, I recognise that Substack is a type of social media too but a) it’s not owned by Meta, b) I curate it myself, filling my reading well with writing and art that nourishes me rather than scrolling mindlessly and c) there are no dancing cats.
I love this Michelle, and it speaks to me on many levels. I am conscious of the time spent on social media, and know that a large part of it is for my work or as an escape valve. For me it’s also a way of connecting with some people as it’s the only place we do. So it depends on how it is used ultimately. But more than anything, I want to be in control, not the algorithm sucking me in mindlessly!
If you put Writing before Exercise you could call it your AWEsome triangle 🤓👍👍👍